Friday, September 15, 2006

Take this job and shove it...

I don't really mean that. I actually like my job for the most part, and, I think, I'm good at it. My problem is much bigger than that. It has really been weighing on me heavily lately to be home for my kids. Or at least alot more flexible than I am. I was a single mom for 10 LONG YEARS- working two, yes count them, TWO full time jobs to try and make ends meet. In retrospect, it was the wrong thing to do. I thought I was giving my kids a better life because they would at least have enough to eat and a decent place to live. Don't get me wrong, we were still pretty poor, financially speaking. What really happened is that they grew up without me. At least through their younger years. I have been down to one job since Riff and I have been married (4 years), but Brittany is 19 and gone already. Shilo is 16 and Dustin 14. They are growing up right before my eyes. Stop the madness!!

My job has almost no flexibility. I am here most afternoons by myself, so can't leave the office unattended. This means that Riff has to take the kids to any dentist, doctor, whatever appointments. Shilo has a soccer game this afternoon at 4, so, of course, I'll be late. Riff took her for her drivers test yesterday, not me. Dustin is a "school slacker" and needs to have his after-school time and homework time monitered. I can't do that either. He will start wrestling in a few months, and yep, you got it, I will be behind this desk. (Yes, I'm blogging at work. For shame!!)

I have been, for several years, kicking around a business idea in my head. Actually, alot of it is on paper now. I have to be able to bring home a certain amount of money at the end of every month which, honestly, isn't that much. I need to pretty much match what I am making now and that really shouldn't be that hard to do. I am in the research phase right now. I'm trying to find out how to start my business with very little capital. I need to know where to go for small business loans and grants. I know they are out there if you just know the right place to look. If any of you out there in bloggerland have any good tips for me, I would really appreciate you sharing them, or helping to steer me in the right direction.

Sorry for the whining and crying here. Sometimes it just has to come out...


Barb said...

You're not whining. You're thinking about making things better.

I'd suggest you google the Small Business Administration. That would be a great place to start.

Believe me, with my husband losing his job two weeks ago, I know people appreciate just having a job. But yours sounds like it's intefering with your life. Never to late to think about a change.

Google away and see what you can find out about starting that little business of yours.

Anonymous said...


Call me, I know lots of resources, I am after all in Finance. :-p I would start with the Small Business Administration, they give out loans if you have a good business plan and will help you out. The SBA is operated by the Federal Government, so it is a good place to start. I am willing to help you in anyway I can, as well as giving advice on Finance plans etc.

Love ya,


Jo said...

I feel just the same, my children are 7 and 3 and i feel as if i'm missing out on them growing up as i'm working long stressful hours and feel pretty burnt out by the time i'm home. I hope your plan gets off the ground and will watch your blog for inspiration to change my life too.

Paula said...

Barb and Josh,
Thanks for the tips. I will start at the SBA and see what I can do. Josh, I'll talk to you soon. Hope things are going well with you!

Good luck to you too. They grow up so fast, we really shouldnt' be missing it all. I will try to keep you posted on how things progress with me. Thanks so much for stopping by!

Brittany said...

you just did what you had to do and thats ok. you did give us a better life. and you are my hero. i love you mom and i miss you. but we're trying to come home. chris and i will be there as soon as we possibly can. for sure this time. i love you mom. and, hey, maybe i can work for you at your store!